Another thought on conference

I was catching up on my blog reading and read my cousin's post on conference. I appreciated her sharing her thoughts, and as I read I was reminded of impressions I had while listening the talks. I thought I'd share a couple of them here.

Last week I read in the Ensign a reminder that to get the most out of conference we can think ahead of things we want answered and pray for the Spirit to help us hear the things we need to know. If anyone needed that it was me. Do you ever have those times you suddenly realize how far you've drifted for the core of the gospel? I knew I needed to get back to what I know to be true and to live it every moment, so I was listening for magic words to light my fire again.

As is usually the case, I didn't hear anything new. I don't know that I even heard direct answers to my questions. But as I listened and tried to invite the Spirit, I was reminded of times I knew the gospel was true and felt God's love for me. In the last year and a half I have had so many moments when I knew without a doubt that I was one of God's beloved children and that he knew me and my pain and what I needed. But somehow in day to day life I forgot all that. When Elder Neil Andersen said, "I don't know everything, but I know enough," I knew that was my problem. I get caught up in bigger things, small details and other questions that distract from the center of the gospel, when I already know what really matters.

All the talks after that touched me, but during Elder Holland's talk I felt something I hadn't in a while. I once described it to kids in primary as a feeling in my chest that was so big I felt as though it would burst (in a good way). My heart was full with the Spirit. As Elder Holland talked about angels, I was reminded of the first night my mom was in the cancer hospital. It had been a rough day and we had just met with the doctor where she outlined treatment and risks. My mom was exhausted, angry, overwhelmed and scared (we all were) and as I left her alone in that hospital and drove the dark streets of Salt Lake, I prayed that someone would be with her that night. It was so hard to leave her when she was that upset, but I felt that she would be watched over so she could sleep and be strong. I don't know that angels were with her, but I know the Comforter was and was with me that night as well. How grateful I am to know I can call on my Heavenly Father for help and feel His love for me.

No Worse for the Wear

Well, my nose is all better. It was tender for another week or two, but I don't think it got any bigger, so I'll count my blessings. Not much going on . . . working and counting the days until we go to Utah (nine if anyone is playing along). Mom had her first radiation treatment today and it went okay. One down, 16 to go. I can only say that while I'm with her in SLC for two weeks a couple newlyweds had better come visit me. Actually, if Salt Lake is a stretch, you could always come to Richy. Say, maybe for the evening of June 21? I'm bringing yummy mexican meat . . .

Three Days of School!

First of all, I am very happy that David Cook won American Idol. Sorry to all my Utah pals, but Archy was a little to adult contemp for me. Rock on (right, like I'm a rocker).

Anyway, school is winding down, which means Troy is counting the days until his 3 months of almost zero responsibility and I am getting big muslces from lifting and moving all the textbooks pouring into the library. I like to be busy, so it's okay.

It's been kind of a weird week. We found out a couple weeks ago that my mom's cancer isn't as gone as they thought it was. Now the doctors are trying to figure out the best treatment. I'm still sure she'll be okay, but it's frustrating that we thought she was in the clear just to learn there's more to come. Bummer. All this craziness with my mom makes me miss Carrie, too. It's weird how things just come up that make me think of and miss her.

Hello Again

Well I'm back home now. Actually I have been for a few days, but it's funny that when major things happen other stuff seems so much less important. I appreciate all the the prayers and encouragement. I know they've all contributed to the blessings our family has enjoyed.

My mom finished her first chemo treatment on Friday and is doing pretty well. She tells me she feels relatively good and the tumor has shrunk by about a third so her valve is working correctly again and her heart rate is closer to normal, although it still has a long way to go. She was released from the hospital today and is staying in the Salt Lake valley for a while so she can be close to the hospital in case things go awry. All we can do at this point is keep praying that things will go well and she'll be protected. Thanks everyone!

Mom Update

Hey everyone, just a quick update on my mom. They've diagnosed her with Primary Cardiac B-Cell Lymphoma. Basically she has lymphoma that has originated in her heart. It's very rare and none of the doctors here have ever seen it. Today we're moving her to the University of Utah and the Hunstman Cancer Institute. They haven't worked with it either, but have more capabilities than Utah Valley. From the few cases we've found, the cancer is responsive to chemo, but they have to do it slowly and carefully so the recessing tumor doesn't leave a hole in her heart. I'll give you more info when I get a chance.

A Sick Mommy

I know this really won't make a difference to my blog readers because I've become so absent, but you may not see another post from me for a while. My mom is in the hospital with heart and maybe cancer issues (still waiting for results) so that has occupied my time for the past few days. She has some type of growth in her heart so along with figuring out why it's there (things don't just grow in your heart. How many people have you ever heard of with heart cancer? --right) it also needs to be removed. So I'm going to Utah for her heart surgery and who knows what else. Please keep her in your prayers. I know many have already been heard and answered.

Ha ha. This is my crazy mom (in an old pic). Maybe I'll post one of her rockin' a hospital gown when I get back.