Another thought on conference

I was catching up on my blog reading and read my cousin's post on conference. I appreciated her sharing her thoughts, and as I read I was reminded of impressions I had while listening the talks. I thought I'd share a couple of them here.

Last week I read in the Ensign a reminder that to get the most out of conference we can think ahead of things we want answered and pray for the Spirit to help us hear the things we need to know. If anyone needed that it was me. Do you ever have those times you suddenly realize how far you've drifted for the core of the gospel? I knew I needed to get back to what I know to be true and to live it every moment, so I was listening for magic words to light my fire again.

As is usually the case, I didn't hear anything new. I don't know that I even heard direct answers to my questions. But as I listened and tried to invite the Spirit, I was reminded of times I knew the gospel was true and felt God's love for me. In the last year and a half I have had so many moments when I knew without a doubt that I was one of God's beloved children and that he knew me and my pain and what I needed. But somehow in day to day life I forgot all that. When Elder Neil Andersen said, "I don't know everything, but I know enough," I knew that was my problem. I get caught up in bigger things, small details and other questions that distract from the center of the gospel, when I already know what really matters.

All the talks after that touched me, but during Elder Holland's talk I felt something I hadn't in a while. I once described it to kids in primary as a feeling in my chest that was so big I felt as though it would burst (in a good way). My heart was full with the Spirit. As Elder Holland talked about angels, I was reminded of the first night my mom was in the cancer hospital. It had been a rough day and we had just met with the doctor where she outlined treatment and risks. My mom was exhausted, angry, overwhelmed and scared (we all were) and as I left her alone in that hospital and drove the dark streets of Salt Lake, I prayed that someone would be with her that night. It was so hard to leave her when she was that upset, but I felt that she would be watched over so she could sleep and be strong. I don't know that angels were with her, but I know the Comforter was and was with me that night as well. How grateful I am to know I can call on my Heavenly Father for help and feel His love for me.