All right, I am asking for mom advice, so please share away and be as preachy as you like.
I have a dilemma. I am trying to figure out how to handle Quinn's sleeping habits. He is a very good sleeper and if he's ready, will fall away pretty quickly if we put him on our shoulder and pat his back. Then he sleeps well (a few hours at night and varying lengths for naps) before waking up to eat. He will occasionally fall asleep on his own, but is certainly happier with our help. However, I don't really want him to need us to put him to sleep forever. He is a very calm baby, but I want him to be able to soothe himself for our sanity as well as for future babysitters. Do I let him cry it out until he falls asleep? Today I left him in there for 20 minutes. For 13 of those minutes he was just fussy, then it turned into full blown crying and I finally picked him up, gave him a pacifier, held him for two and a half minutes and he was out. A pacifier will also put him to sleep, but that is another habit I don't want to start. What do I do? Get tough or spoil him? Or is he too young to worry about this? When should I start caring? So many questions!!!
8 comments:
Yeah I think he's too young to worry about it. I still hold Haven until she's asleep and then put her down, and she's almost 6 months old. A babysitter can do that too. Jozie used a pacifier to fall asleep until she was 2 1/2 yrs old. At that point she was old enough for us to reason with her about it, and she decided she was a big enough kid not to need it anymore, so she stopped.
I think there's a lot of hype about kids being able to fall asleep on their own, but I've never been a fan of cry it out. As Jozie got older she was able to fall asleep with a pacifier without being in my arms.
All that being said, I think being roughly on a schedule, being warm, being swaddled, and having a pacifier will do wonders for babies going to sleep.
My kids are terrible sleepers, so I'm probably not qualified to give advice, but here goes anyway. We are a binky family. We use them only at bedtime. I think the couple years of peace at bedtime were worth the rough 2 days when we took it away from Mitchell. I personally think he's too little to cry it out right now. Maybe the best way to go now is hold him until he's pretty drowsy and then put him down so he's actually falling asleep in his bed. Easier said than done though. Some kids (mine) fight sleep with all they have and eventually you just have to let them cry, but not until they're older. He's still pretty little. It seems to me like they finally start to sort their sleep out around 4 months, but maybe that's just my kids.
With my oldest, we went by the book. From just a few weeks we were putting him in bed and making him cry it out. We were almost opposite with our second because we didn't want his screaming to wake up big brother. When they got older, we actually had a harder time with the oldest...go figure! The one we thought we had done everything just right! He would get out of bed a hundred times a night. He would scream every time we put him back. We even resorted to putting a child gate at his doorway to keep him in his room (which he very quickly learned to climb over).
With the rest of my kids, I held them to sleep until they were about 4-6 months. None of them have been even remotely as difficult as my oldest was when it comes to bedtime. I say hold your baby and enjoy him. He'll grow up way too fast. My personal opinion is that babies just want to feel secure and loved. To this day, I don't regret holding my babies to sleep, but I do regret NOT holding my oldest to sleep.
When he gets to be about 4-6 months, then you'll want to start making him go to bed on his own. Pacifiers are a very good thing. If they don't have a pacifier, they might just find a thumb. And while that's cute at first, It can be really hard getting them to stop because you can't take away a thumb. Pacifiers have even been linked to preventing SIDS. So, I'm all about the pacifier! I've practically forced all of my babies to take it.
As far as getting rid of a pacifier, I like my kids to be over the pacifier by a year. I let them have a pacifier any time they want it, until their about 8 or 9 months. Then it's just at night. To be perfectly honest, the best way I've found to getting over pacifiers is to lose them all. :) We are really bad at keeping track of them. So, at about a year,once we've lost them all, we just deal with a night or 2 of withdrawals and then we're done. After that, when we find pacifiers, we just throw them away. :)
So, there's my book. I hope it helps. Don't worry so much about spoiling you baby. Just love him and do what you think is best for you and him. He's a cutie by the way.
thanks for asking the question ruthanne! I was able to read this good advice. good luck with little quinn!
When Brayden was super little he would usually fall asleep on hims own, but on occasion we rocked him. By the time he was 5-6 months he fell asleep in his bed alone and we haven't had any really problems since. And Tawny pretty much just slept by herself from the very beginning.
So I don't really know because I think I just got two good sleepers. But I definitely didn't pick them up right away when they started fussing. I tried to let them work it out, until it got to a point that intervention was obviously needed.
We are big believers in letting our babies get to sleep on their own but not until 8 weeks. It's just my opinion but I say love him to sleep another month. I promise it won't make it hard for him to sleep on his own later. After 8 weeks I believe in the cry it out method. I have a book I just love that you can borrow if you like.
This is a tough issue. It's really hard to know what's right. There are tons of books out there that support a million different ways to put your baby to sleep. I think in the end it won't really matter how we did it, as long as they do sleep and everyone's happy. It also helps to develop a routine and do it the same way everytime so they know what's coming. Your consistency is probably more important than HOW you do it.
Paci's are great for bedtime but unfortunately I didn't get Kayla used to one in time so I've become her personal pacifier. Bad habit, I know, but this time around I know it's not that big of a deal, we're all happy and resting, and I know she won't need me forever. It lasts for such a short time and I love to nurture the heck out of my babies. Personally, I think it's a little cruel to let a small baby cry themselves to sleep. Nothing wrong with 10 to 20 minutes but I don't go longer than that. Moms do it all the time though and no baby died from crying so it just comes down to what feels right to you.
Good luck.
Thanks for your input everyone. I feel much better. :)
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